napupui ayong

“napupui ayong” means “I don’t understand” in Karimojong, a native Ugandan language. My good friend Sara is in Uganda until April working in a clinic as a nurse-missionary, and she’s doing a fantastic job. She’s exploring and making new friends and loving God. She’s helping Ugandan people who need medical attention, vaccinations, and love. I wish I was there with her…but I am here, in Spokane, almost done with pharmacy school.

Waiting for residency results, dealing with life difficulties, friendship struggles, spiritual dry patches, and all manner of things that are straining and stressful.

But I take solace today in the fact that I can sit down with God and a cup of coffee and say, “I don’t understand”.

I could even scream, “I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!” or ugly-cry while I said it. And he will still be there, always faithful and understanding.

I’m asking for patience and a soft heart these days…it seems like bitterness and hardness of heart are my enemies.

“God engineers circumstances to see what we will do. Will we be the children of our Father in heaven, or will we go back again to the meaner, common-sense attitude? Will we stake all and stand true to Him? “Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.” The crown of life means I shall see that my Lord has got the victory after all, even in me.”  Oswald Chambers

AAAAHHHRRGH. But I want to stand on my common sense, my self-righteous and in-control sense of self. Surrendering that for the peace of God feels weak and limp and unproductive.

Another friend once told me, “It’s ok to have a prayer that goes somewhat to the effect of ‘Oh God please help’.” And I think that’s what I’m praying these days.

Lovely and splendid things have been happening too…

Warm and sunny enough for birks!!

Cabin + tomato soup/grilled cheese + friends galore

Running along the river, the snow melt raising the level as March goes on…